Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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