i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
