My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The air was thick with penises
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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