Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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