zippers are such a cool invention
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize