Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
