I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
