I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
