So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
