my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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