I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
