i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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