his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
