dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
