those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
