You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Randomize