Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Randomize
