just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Enjoy the penises
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
