she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize