Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Randomize