dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
