im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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