my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
dude. I can hear the air.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize