I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
