I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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