I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Randomize
