Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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