drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
So squirting runs in the family.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
