Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize