Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
