i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
