Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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