no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
