Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
