Well douche your snatch and let's go!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
