She went from zero to smokin in five shots
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
