it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
