I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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