If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
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