We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
