Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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