I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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