He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize