somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
