I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
