He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
i think my cat just said my name.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
