The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
