Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
