I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
sarcasm needs its own font
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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