Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
