he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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