Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
