Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
