hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
