If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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