If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
