JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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