Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
