It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
