Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
