Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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