i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
