I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
