"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
