before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
