So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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