glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
