I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The adults are the big ones right?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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