There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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